Monday, June 7, 2010

The Indian Summer

In Indian youth scene there are only two kinds of animals - Engineer MBA and Engineer in IT firm - of course am not denying the existence of other species but then this is my blog Sweets, u don't like it, I give a rat's ass' hoot to your whosoever.So we continue.The Person belonged to the first category and quite disillusioned with the facts by now.Yes a good MBA in India takes a 5 lakher p.a to a millionaire,in INR mind u, but then The Person doesn't think it's enough to satiate the dreams of the unsuspecting multitude who get trapped under the collective expectations of the great HUF.Shit it is but then shit drives the world - tats what The Person took away from his Indian Summer.
Indian IT.What a magnificent beast it is! Feeding half a million mouths in this country of snake-charmers indeed Manmohanomics has turned us from railway coollies to cyber ones.Or maybe Rajiv deserves some praise for that..but den I have no intentions to fight on a you-know-which party ticket anytime soon...so sorry Madam no sycophancy.So let's get going.Yeah dis was the first brush with the Indian IT scene for The Person.And My-oh-My what a sweatshop is dat industry!!! The Economist talks about China's sweatshops, I say visit the AC stys in the cities of modern Bharat...it's no different.You walk in at 0900 hours,do your mediocre crap throughout the day,at 1900 hrs when US comes alive the juggernaut gets going...beyond that of course it could be great if you could work d clock till its 0200 hours in India,dat way the ignorant fat bastards in US of A can actually have their 200K worth job outsourced and done without actually lifting a finger! And den somewhere in this jungle u get THE Tribe - MBA-s from top 10 BSculs in India - some employees,some interns. Fuslaoed from the campuses by snazzy presentations dat were outsourced to the likes of my former employers (lol...coz dis is a big secret out f d bags dat shines a very shiny light on the quality of Indian practice's management) these people actually put up Status Updates on Facebook saying "Got my dream JOB" etc etc. (BTW dis came from a Nearly-Hairless-Female whose understanding of what Career is naturally Stunted)
So what do these people do? As good-paid Associate Consultants (Yeah rite!) dey draft RFP-s meandering into 135 pages, of course CCP from previous efforts kept in repositories...dats d way u become SEI-CMM Level 5 certified u know :D...den once assigned to a project (yeah Bitch I'm now BILLABLE!!!) dey get to fly to First World Capitals for 3 weeks followed by Training Material Preparation for the rest of the project.So nice utilisation of their MBA..yeah rite!But then India is known to waste resources..right from Engg to MBA..but thankfully the MBA Sculs charge what they deserve unlike poor cousin IIT-s.
One more interesting thing!Say u study in ~(IIM ABC) then what do you do if your summers is in Bangalore/Cal/Ahd....Yes u r rite! U pose for fotos like dey make u IIM-ers :D Would you do dat in an IIPM Campus? Oh yeah rite..are you a mindless fool We belong to the upper echelon...and can only aim for higher ones rite :P
Then the summers let you in to the power that is FB!Dancing divas sent to project work in the interiors will keep you updated the 2 months you thought you would give them the slip,with the Queen turning in her grave at the grammar on the Status Updates :D Then there will be people who have been dumped quite often and pressing the LIKE button at every opportunity...egging the Divas on..shit man the WORLD needs an UNLIKE button u know.
Enough on The Person's experience.The lengthier this gets more like rant it seems.Lets hope it bloody well rains today!Some time else den...

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Love Bytes

They say TIME flies when u r in a B-Scul...dey shud chk again coz The Person can tell u dat d second trim in d infamous Indian B-Scul scene is a quite chilled out affair...lots of fests and lots of movies and lots of intracampus wars and lots of globe-ing on any topic under the sunshine and of course lots of memorable walks down the Lover's Lanes (henceforth LL-s) of d respective campuses.Yes dat's rite.The seeds of passion and romance sowed ever so carefully by the respective baghbaans(go c d BR Chopra tearjerker if u hv no clue what we r talkin about or bttr a Hindi sabdkosh/abhidhan) in d first trim breaks in2 blossom nurtured by the hospitable climate prevailing in the Indian B-Scul scene bestowed both by Mother Nature & Curriculum Maker.And to tell you about two such mushy,cushy,oh-cho-cuteeeee The Person decided to post and help the incoming and d despairing millions of Indian youth about how to go ahead & succeed in matters of heart when they face the mighty Indian B-Scul Curricula Monster,specifically in d 1st trim and not be overwhelmed and give up on 'Apne Dil ki Awaaz' (as promulgated by Raj (a.k.a SRK) in His so many potboilers).
Guys this for u.Imagine the most cosmo city of your country.Done?Den imagine urself 2 b a ok-ish cool dude in the supposedly coolest college scene of the country though in my opinion girls in DU colleges can leave any non-Delhi guy feeling that he must have been to real Bharat (where u get plump-faced desi maids with what-must-be-lauded-by-the-Taliban-kind-of-Salwar-suits and -5 power specs to go with that) and been utterly cheated hence.Done?Now tell me how likely r u 2 make a comment like 'Am single by choice'? Tats rite! Now let's leave d necessary inferences dat needs to be drawn on d junta readin dis stuff and get ahead in our mission.
But given that The Person had started on this particular piece sometime back and yet hasn't had the time to finish it off so it is imperative that the task at hand be taken care of swiftly.So we will cut one person's love life out and take on the other case.
Ever felt the need to FIT IN? The present day Indian youth does feel that a lot.Specially when it comes to NOT being single.Specially if u r an Engineer and an about-to-be-MBA.How ODD is it to not have a girlfriend???I mean...like u must be real piece of work to not have a girlfriend at this stage of your life..isn't it?So thought a guy...Wronged in love once by a demon-of-a-Dad-in-Law he took an oath not to fall in love ever again...bad mouthed girls but in private fantasised about everything that he should ideally not be doing about...but lo and behold..he fell again!But since On-Campus was not to be hence Off-Campus.One thing led to another which led to a prompt trip to You-Know-Whose-House...hee hee hee hee...naughty minded all of you huh...But to the knowledge of The Person the Dad-in-Law dis time also turned out to be a Bitch...but den as it is has been acknowledged already you are a piece of work..so how could any for that matter Dad risk his daughter...But this was lost on our guy.All the bad mouthing in public became cozy cuddling in d phone as nite descended on d B-Scul with the PDA(Phone Display of Affection) reaching crazy heights...unbearable at times.The Person very much influenced by Case Studies(B Scul Student u c) would leave this post at this as no case should veer towards a solution.Scratch your hair(I don't care of where) and analyse this Perfect CS and blast away to glory...See u all then.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Fine Dining: A Treatise

This particular piece is in ode to the art of Fine Dining practised and cultivated by the people of money specially the New ones. That is not to say that Old money does not know how to celebrate this particular celebration of life as The Person might put it. But in this piece we focus more on the nouveau rich and their temples of culinary worship- the standalone Fine Dining restaurants, kinda exclusive, u know the types where u need to have a booking a few days in advance preferably. Considered ‘hatke’ than the standard ***** hotels’ restaurants these places reek of exclusivity (or so they seem to think) thanks mainly to the right hand side of the menu-cards and less due to the kind of clientele or the fare on offer. Now Calcutta being Calcutta still somehow boasts of a handful of these. They say ‘Gods must be Crazy’ I say ‘These restaurateurs are’. Come to think of it, how can Calcutta junta (no offence IT people...even IT DINK-s would think thrice before throwing caution to the wind) handle such eye-popping prices for something very basic! Now enough of a background as The Person would say by now, let’s get down to describing the menu item that inspired this composition.

Afraa. That’s what the Neotias call their little nest nestled at the perch of the Salt Lake City Centre (This clarification was necessitated by the fact that Calcutta now boasts of 3 City Centres actually...one of course the CBD, second the Salt Lake one, third its sibling at Rajarhat---yes that particular location which is supposedly the Promised Land for the Bengali IT herd of Infosys and Wipro who are being denied their cup of ‘cha’ (tea) and bowl of ‘muri’ (puffed rice) and a few solid rounds of ‘adda’ specially during the lunch breaks in the sanitised world of Bengaluru/ Hyderabad/ Noida).It means White. Decor suits the name. Now that we have the location let’s get along with the piece. The occasion-a warm home-coming welcome to a temporarily culinarily-challenged Indian MBA practising his trade in the hold-your-breath city of New Delhi- a place where finding non-veg good food is not only tough for the salary-challenged class (read Students) but also to go from a food-loving-and-gorging human to a non-veg-challenged foodie takes a Herculean effort...yeah I know Atlas Shrugged and We Managed...but still come on no self-respecting foodie can give up on his habits specially when he/she is not inclined to do so. Period. So where were we...ahh yes the occasion. Now for the company. Of course to-be-spouse! And the item that would help to transcend the dining experience from being a vanilla one to a Fine one was a Dessert...yes they have a Dessert menu-card all leather bound and you can have a full table laid out with a very romantic floating candle-never mind the fact that this was not supposed to be a 4 course meal (why it was not can be taken up on a later date) now the problem with such transcendental products is that if you are not a regular patron of such places you are sure to remember their name only as long as the menu rests on the table. So the order was placed. Couple of the dessert for the couple of course...as it was put “I can’t share mine” such statements obviously heightens your expectations specially in a Fine Dining set up. The next thing that u should be advised in Fine Dining is Expectation Management. They promise the World and give u let’s say Patna. So true to its nature out came the desserts on the expectation-laden table. A description is absolutely necessary at this point else we would not be doing justice to the Fine Food. A pristine white plate, with a spherical chocolate-covered-crust which held a pista-variant of icecream and a plateau-shaped hot choco-sauce filled inners and to add the final flourish there was a broad X marked by choco-powder. Disappointment at first sight...really The Person’s long-cherished notions of Fine Dining were reinforced—‘all crap, little substance’. As for the taste well it was good...nothing that would get Afraa a Michelin star soon. That marks the end of this piece.

Friday, May 2, 2008

AN EXPERIENCE CALLED APPRAISAL-AN EXERICSE IN FUTILITY

So it's dat time of d year again!!!Corporate India going Boom Boom Boom...such are the days even Infosys posts healthy profits ha ha ha...Consequent to dat comes an Exercise called Employee Appraisal (trust the Motherfu**** SonsovaBit** HR wizzos of your esteemed Fortune who-knows-what organisation to come up with something to leave you completely dazed)...Dis happened to The Person in the very first year of The Person's working life too...there was this organisation u know..people called it ONE of d BIG-FOUR (more like KRAZZY 4)...and to top up the experience the good news comes on The Person's birthday.:D

Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Banwas 2.5 Months Old

As they say 'Time is a Great Healer',though The Person is not quite sure if this is the right idiom that shud have found its way at this exact position in the musings but anyways what's it dat matters! 2.5 months have somehow managed to find its way past the The Person since the project or whatever-bloody-else-you-might-want-to-call-it-you-can
-call-it
started.New friends have been made aplenty...new exotic destinations discovered too...a place so exotic in The Person's opinion...but the problem lies in the fact that the keys to enjoy the exotic appeal of the place is still alluding The Person...here's hoping to it dat in good time even they will be available...so how has life treated The Person meanwhile? Well not good(as if you will at all get what is meant by that!!!) but not hugely bad either...given that The Person took a life-defining decision(The Person would surely live long enough to regret that the author is quite sure...but that's what The Person felt right and had to be done.Period) But currently the scenario looks real bad...the GuestHouse is without another soul(if you might care to count out the caretaker)...and no exams to relieve the The Person of this dreadful thing called project...Cars however still continue to flash by...BMW Coupe,7 series,Mercedes A-Class,M-Class,Porsche Carerra GT...Ferrari not yet sighted...Lamborghini done though...But is The Person content?..Watch this space for more..For now the answer is NO.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

THE * SIGN OF THE PERSON & ALL U WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT


Taurus (The Bull) (fixed, earth, personal): Keyword: "I have". The Taurus person is resourceful, thorough, dependable, responsible, loyal, patient, placid, stable, sensual, affectionate, comfortable, solid, earthy, strong, money-oriented, practical, productive, cautious, musical, and artistic. They can also sometimes be stubborn, indulgent, insecure, acquisitive, possessive, rigid, stodgy and slow. Suitable occupations are where perseverance, practicality and responsibility are awarded,and security is available; such as builders, farmers, bankers, civil servants, accountants and artistic pursuits, especially singing and sculpture. In medical astrology Taurus governs the throat and neck. In astrology Taurus is ruled by the planet Venus. The sun sign dates for Taurus are April 21st - May 21st. The earth form of Taurus is fertile soil that has green growing plants.

Positive traits of Taurus people are:

* disciplined
* hard-working
* good sense of humor
* prudent
* great work-ethic
* artistic
* loving
* creative
* romantic
* sensual
* Very sexual
* attentive
* comforting
* strong
* steady
* shy
* organized
* cautious
* harmonious
* trustworthy
* calm
* tenacious
* stable
* patient
* resourceful
* easygoing
* careful
* dependable
* honest
* conservative
* determined
* loyal
* protective
* practical

Characteristics considered negative

Negative traits are:

* controlling
* stubborn
* hyper-sensitive
* gets stuck in ruts,
* little to say
* resentful
* moody
* horrible temper
* possessive
* overindulgent
* Jealous
* overly self-conscious
* rigid

CAREER:

Ideal Careers Banking, almost any form of bureaucracy, auctioneering, managers, singers, chef and acting.

Physical traits:

Astrologers believe that each of the zodiac signs has identifiable physical traits. Physically, individuals born under the sign of Taurus tend to have a full and square face, small ears, a rounded and dimpled chin, generally large foreheads, a short and turned-up nose, large and expressive eyes, glowing and opaque skin, full and well-shaped lips, small and even teeth, and thick, often curly hair. They are thought to usually be above average height

THE DEAL THAT U GET:

Taurus persons tend to be hedonistic, cool customers. They live primarily through the pleasures of their senses.

This is the more solid and pragmatic sign in the zodiac. It brings a lot of practicality and earthly sensibility. It is very utilitarian and seeks real, useful results for its efforts. This sign may be seen as lazy by some, but that is because it is strongly motivated by reward, and lack of such prize for its efforts tends to drain it of energies.

This sign is not psychologically equipped to deal with conflict and suffering, which reveal its more neurotic, sometimes brutal side. It does not take well to threats or disrespect, and can be quite resentful. Nevertheless, this is much more a sign of love and pleasure, where he usually much prefers to dwell.

Taurus can be greatly moved by physical beauty. In fact, some Taurus people, especially Taurus ladies find themselves delving in fields of esthetics or cosmetics.

Little acknowledged trait of Taurus is its rebellious nature, which is often considered as stubbornness. Its rebelliousness is actually quite refined in nature, certainly when compared to Aquarius' no holds barred. In accordance, it can be extremely wilful when it does not feel appreciated or respected.

They really hate discomfort, and can be quite preoccupied with avoiding it. This sign is usually a subscriber to "slowly but surely". It prefers to hold back than to risk himself.

Although they are quite aware of the wickedness inherent within their natural melancholy, basic constructive drives within this sign usually make them go with the greater good. Even in the case they do go down the wrong path, it will be more systematically conductive than just spite, and it should be rewarding aplenty. That said, naturally they are more inclined to fall into depression than act in a negative fashion.

They have a great longing to something special, exciting. This is the grounds for the great possessiveness within this sign, as anything that's considered special to them is held dear, clasped indeed.

Taurus is the more practical, constructive sign within the zodiac. The ruler of this sign is Venus, on her earthy side. His natural house is the second house.

Taurus shares similar qualities with Virgo, which eases them working together. Taurus appreciates Virgo's stable and rather predictable ways, and they often associate.

It can sometimes feel a bit intellectually inferior to Virgo's more dazzling abilities. Granted, Taurus does not really like to complicate himself with intellectual processes that do not lead to good, perceivable, real-world implications. This may sometimes mark him as "slow" by some, although Mercury's situation should be judged as well. Taurus' mentality tends to simplify things, really "bring them down to earth" (and to the commoners), and so sometimes eases thing and makes them much more workable.

Taurus tends to be somewhat more self-interested than Virgo, and can become quite lazy if there isn't any incentive offered.

Earth Signs--Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn-- Earth represents man's material resources, environment and possessions. The Earth signs are associated with sensation, stability and practicality, and people with a lot of earth in their make up are solid, dependable, thorough, responsible, cautious, overexertive, overprotective, and quiet. In combination with the other elements, earth feels that air will suffocate it, fire will burn it, but water will refresh and nourish it. It is the element of strength and healing.


Taurus personalities:

Interestingly, there are not so many top-celebrities of this sign, as it tends to be rather personal and does not usually feel a burning need to take on the world. It tends to be rather easily satisfied, and prefers not to extend itself too much.

FINALLY LETS SEE WHO GETS LUCKY:

Compatibility

The following items are traditionally associated with Taurus:

* Most compatible with: Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio, and Pisces, the Water and Earth signs.This person besides is a case in point!






















* Possible with: Taurus and Libra, due to the joint Venus rulership.
* Doubtful with: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Aries, Leo, and Gemini, as Fire and Air are incompatible with Earth

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Banwas...Or Is It?

16th Jan.8:45 p.m.A JET Airways flight which anyways was late by an hour ensured that The Person would end up on a 10 months long Banwas at the Desh-Ki-Rajdhani.A couple of hours and a most boring flight later which included a veg meal of all things and a snoring beauty in the aisle seat and only 1 cutie-pie airhostess Delhi was finally awarded the reward it so dearly did not deserve...The Person set his foot on the frozen airport tarmac...A completely lost cab driver then took over d proceedings..finally at 1:15 a.m. The Person reached the GuestHouse...what a relief! chalo jaan to bachi!...The next day dawned as it was scheduled to...The Person had office to attend...but en route the nazaara that was on offer in terms of The Beauties...The Person had never imagined it cud b true even...U-Name-It-U-Get-It...that was what it like...
  • Honda Civic and Accord(Imp to notice is City-s are not cars to own)
  • Mercs (Yaar that's too tacky..everybody has one or so it seems)
  • Beemers (Well Well they are not a rare sighting again..and 1 7Series was dere too)
  • Toyota Lexus (Honestly The Person had never seen one b4)
  • Audi (Sedan and SUV)
  • Porsche Cayanne
  • Nissan Tiguana
  • And to add the final flourish...A BENTLEY...Majestic man its presence!
So The Person started to think was it or wasn't it...A Banwas that is..More to follow.Watch this space.