M&A

Did you say Merger & Acquistion?

So let's see what we have here then...an yuppy iBanker-MBA are we or are we yuppy-dreaming-yet-to-be-iBanker-MBA-frustrated-in-the-ubiquitous-Indian-industry? You may be either, no point mentioning here that I will be more reverent if you are the former, but then an advice at the outset for both the segments, be advised that your career progress has already been determined, some 22-24 years ago (the age bracket where you can still hopefully expect to become an iBanker and beyond which be advised you can only become an Equity researcher-about-to-be-frustrated-in-3-years). For the people who got the import of these meandering lines, welcome to the club and for the people who read thru twice, read once more if you must. Now that you thought Merger & Acquisition, let me test if you are worth your salt..can you tell me if it will be profitable to M&A Greece with EU so that the Greeks as a nation can be a matter of history much like its famous people like Aristotle and the gay Alexander? Before you answer that, I am not interested any more. Before I tell you that this was not the expansion I had in mind, I must admit I belonged to the second segment,went to a VERY ETHICALLY ORIENTED bscul where I was told I had no chance in the same, so let's continue...

Today I was discussing something quite serious with a good friend, when he suddenly said something about the Arranged-Marriage marketplace in India. That and my tendency to connect dots, gave birth to this post. Couple of days back, the eminent newspaper ET carried a very heart-rendering account of how Indian EVES are the most stressed of their race in the MILKY Way if you must. The venerable ET said that these were the beacons India was looking askance for deliverance and how the India (mind you not Bharat) should focus on saving these Eves, now that the 1411 Tigers of India have been saved (psst...heard on the street Ratan will soon have an illegit successor, a striped Royal Bengal T of all, thanks to the bad M..so make dat 1412 at least ;-)). Well back to the topic at hand, theEVES (sounds suspiciously like ;) ) are stressed with work and to digress a little, if you know what NSSO is and who TCA Anant is then you will also know that there has been a serious slide in EVE's participation in the Indian labor (pun intended) force by about 600 basis points,this again may be Greek (pun intended yet again...for the more aware of the set not reading this that is almost the spread on Bunds and Greek bonds hence the pun) to some of us. In short, let's say it is worrisome. Of course for UPA not for me. Some chic CHICK economist thot that this provided a ripe opportunity to champion Women's Lib yet again ( thank God she thought better than burning her upper innerwear unlike her ancestors) and wrote some mind-numbing shit on ET with a rider thrown in the views were her own only to which I wanted to ask, why did she bother to pick the pen up then...spare us economic analysis..economics is not CHICK Lit after all. Now back to the topic of distressed EVEs.

So what bothers them or shall we say Distresses them (jingles with Mistresses..i m wicked i know :D). The list lists the usual suspects - being-made-to-study-more-than-would-have-been-good-for-them followed by a thing called Career (the respondents were as ET said first-time-women-workers-from-their-families mostly) followed by another thing called Marriage(M) which helped by some fine-but-horny highly-educated-young-Indian-males leads to another thing called Baby which eventually leads to some kind of Arrangement(A). Now if you are my target readership, you know what I meant by M&A.

To this concoction, if you add what my friend had to say : He, a fine-young-man-with-an-even-finer-takehome met one of these distressed EVE's father digitally. The parent expressed his willingness to marry off his daughter but threw in some food for thought - why doesn't the fine-young-man-with-an-even-finer-takehome trade his city of work for the EVE's native(u see the family is there). He left a parting comment that the Groom is now expected to be Einstein+Buffet+Clooney (if u follow the pattern none of them are fine-young any more ;-)) To this when I add CNN-IBN’s Sagarika Ghose's tweet which went like “A boys club meeting with editors is hardly the way to reach out to the nation. Shame!” presumably coz she was not invited to the PM's meet, one can only be amazed at the apathy the Indian society heaps upon the EVEs and I say they have all reasons to be DISTRESSED ;-). So maybe ET missed out on 1 more plausible reason for theEVE's distress - Marriage & an Arrangement.

Enough of Cursing Now Presenting the Economics of Reservation

Nothing about contemporary India is as tragic as the fact that millions here are excluded by birth and early environment from educational and economic opportunities that could reveal their full potential and here I mean the GENERAL CATEGORY ;)

In independent India, the debate on inequality has been largely hijacked by the protagonists of reservation on the basis of caste. Certainly, the age-old inequities of the caste system have much to do with the mass poverty and abject social status of millions of Indians. Does this justify the adoption of caste quotas in higher education and employment as the major instrument of an egalitarian redistribution? This is a question that has evoked intense and prolonged controversy.

The debate has focused essentially on two issues: whether the presumed gains of the intended beneficiaries of reservations offset and justify the presumed losses of the others, and whether the presumed improvement in the distribution of income and power justifies the possible losses in average efficiency and aggregate output. No one has doubted that the intended beneficiaries do benefit and that in consequence distribution does actually improve. If a college is forced to admit a target-group student who would not otherwise have qualified, or a firm to hire someone from a protected category whom it would otherwise not have considered, surely the target group must benefit. Right?

Wrong. In economics, the obvious is not always the truth. When we look at the immediate context of an action or policy, we may predict a particular outcome with perfect certainty; but when we consider its remoter consequences and their repercussions, our confidence may well disappear. Policy analysis is further complicated in India by the impact of globalization. When goods, capital and some grades of skilled labour flow freely in and out of a country, it necessarily limits the degree of freedom of the economic policy-maker. He must take into account the international flows of goods and factors that his policy would induce in assessing its likely outcome. We must, therefore, examine the likely impact of a quota regime on the distribution of employment and income in an open economy.

The economist’s traditional way of exploring such issues is to construct a simplified hypothetical picture of the economy as a whole, and to see how it changes in consequence of a particular policy. Imagine an economy set in a world where free trade in goods equalizes product prices worldwide and free capital mobility sustains profits at global rates. The economy produces goods that require capital along with either skilled or unskilled labour. Unskilled labour is an undifferentiated mass without productivity differentials, where the headcount is all that matters. Skilled labour is heterogeneous and a college education is indispensable for it.

The economy has a college system that caters to this demand. Colleges admit students on the basis of a test of their pre-college ability, accepting all those who score above a certain cut-off. They then train their students up to a final level of skill which is reflected in their eventual grades. Students differ in their initial abilities as well as their final scores; they also differ in the extent to which they benefit from college, depending on the extent to which it offers them opportunities they did not enjoy earlier and the intensity of effort they choose to exert. However, assume that exposure to the same educational process, while it may result in a convergence of the ability scores of different students, will not actually reverse their ability rankings.

A firm that requires skill will hire a college graduate on the basis of his grade, which is the only signal it has of his ability and productivity. Firms have to match the global rate of profit if they are to retain their capital. Given their technology and the price of their product, this implies that they cannot afford more than a specific unit cost of work. Competition among firms for labour ensures also that they do not pay any less. So, in a globalized economy, the unit cost of work in each viable firm is set by global parameters. Now the unit cost of work is the ratio of the wage per head and the productivity of the worker. Thus, firms can absorb low-productivity workers, provided they pay them proportionately less. There is, however, a minimum below which wage per head in skilled industry cannot fall: this is determined by the wage in the unskilled sector plus the cost of college education.

Labour in the unskilled sector is homogeneous and earns a uniform wage, which represents the unit cost of unskilled work. This, too, is determined by global parameters: the imperative of paying the global rate of profit to attract capital dictates the wage of unskilled labour (given the technology and the product price). The global economy thus imposes the unskilled wage and sets a floor to the wage per head of skilled labour. Since it also determines the unit cost of skilled work, it fixes the minimum productivity of skilled workers. Skilled industry can only hire those graduates whose grades match this minimum productivity requirement. Since colleges are interested in the employability of their graduates, they will admit only those applicants whom they expect, on the basis of their admission test scores, to achieve such grades. Indeed, if the relationship between admission test scores and final grades, and that between final grades and employability, are common knowledge, the college need not have any admission policy at all. If it simply discloses the admission test scores, applicants who do not, on the basis of these scores, expect to achieve the grade-requirement for employability would simply select out of college education — they would prefer unskilled work to the pursuit of an expensive college education that would not culminate in a skilled job. Given full public knowledge of all the relationships involved and full disclosure of admission test scores, the pattern of admissions would be identical with what colleges seek to achieve through their admission cut-offs.

This is how the system would work in the absence of government intervention in the admission process. Assume, now, that government legislates a 50 per cent quota for specific castes in college admissions. In order to make the best possible case for reservations, add the heroic assumption that the implementation of the quota system has no impact on the quality of college teaching or the integrity of the examination system. If colleges remain interested in the employability of their graduates, they will not reduce their admission cutoffs for anybody. If they did, the ‘beneficiaries’ of this relaxation would not get the final grades required for skilled employment. Applicants themselves may anticipate this after seeing their admission test scores and refuse the admission offer, should one be made. Not a single member of the target group really benefits as a result of the quota — except perhaps for a broadening of his intellectual horizon thanks to a college education.

But if there is no increase in target group admissions, how can colleges comply with the 50 per cent quota requirement? The only possible way is by limiting admissions from other castes to the number admitted against the quota. A large number from the other castes (who would have qualified for college and skilled employment in the absence of quotas) are denied admission and driven into the unskilled sector as a result. Quotas yield no benefits for the ‘beneficiaries’ but substantially reduce educational and employment prospects for others. National income contracts drastically (since, for a large number, high skilled wages are replaced by low unskilled wages); so does the higher education system, since, with admissions stagnant among the protected castes and dwindling among the unprotected, fewer colleges remain viable.

If the quality of college teaching or evaluation is impaired by quotas (if, for example, they have been implemented in faculty recruitment as well, as indeed they have been done in India), things can only get worse. With poorer teaching, a given initial ability would translate into lower final productivity, so that admission cut-offs would actually have to be raised to ensure employability — so that quotas would no longer be neutral in their impact on the protected groups, but would actually hurt them. If grade inflation, particularly of a discriminatory kind, occurs, the credibility of the entire system is compromised. Industry can no longer trust the signals from the colleges as indices of productivity and the economic justification for the higher education system melts away. So possibly does skill-intensive industry.

In the immediate present, colleges may be persuaded or forced to lower admission cutoffs for the protected castes, thus substantially increasing their admission offers, students may be myopic or optimistic enough to accept such offers, government may even dragoon industry into offering jobs to graduates of protected groups whose college grades are lower than the minimum that it would earlier have insisted upon. Disillusionment, however, is just round the corner. Industry will soon discover that the unit cost of skilled work for its additional recruits is higher than the global level and erodes its profits below the global rate of return on capital. It will then be forced to migrate to locations outside the jurisdiction of the Indian government and its quota regime.

It is not surprising that two generations of reservations have done so little for the scheduled castes and tribes. Reservations earlier had some justification. Quotas in legislative representation are not subject to the economic constraints described above. Further, when India was a closed economy, the penalties for inefficiency were not immediate. A protected industrial sector could absorb much inefficiency. So could government. Productivity was of little or no concern in government, which was, up to the 1980s, the major employer outside agriculture. Job reservations then were a meaningful, if costly, instrument of redistribution; so were reservations in a higher education system that catered essentially to government demand. Whatever little quotas have achieved for the SCs and STs is a reflection of these two factors. In the India of today, neither of these factors is of any importance.

So much so this above part was the contribution of a JNU prof but The Person after having studied enuf economics by now can only nod his head at the implications and of course in this booming booming job market wishes the firms to make big time mistakes when they recruit from the Bsculs (what with 50% forced-ins) so that the HR managers look like fools in another 5 years when the next recession strikes...Let's drink to that den \m/

The Indian Summer

In Indian youth scene there are only two kinds of animals - Engineer MBA and Engineer in IT firm - of course am not denying the existence of other species but then this is my blog Sweets, u don't like it, I give a rat's ass' hoot to your whosoever.So we continue.The Person belonged to the first category and quite disillusioned with the facts by now.Yes a good MBA in India takes a 5 lakher p.a to a millionaire,in INR mind u, but then The Person doesn't think it's enough to satiate the dreams of the unsuspecting multitude who get trapped under the collective expectations of the great HUF.Shit it is but then shit drives the world - tats what The Person took away from his Indian Summer.

Indian IT.What a magnificent beast it is! Feeding half a million mouths in this country of snake-charmers indeed Manmohanomics has turned us from railway coollies to cyber ones.Or maybe Rajiv deserves some praise for that..but den I have no intentions to fight on a you-know-which party ticket anytime soon...so sorry Madam no sycophancy.So let's get going.Yeah dis was the first brush with the Indian IT scene for The Person.And My-oh-My what a sweatshop is dat industry!!! The Economist talks about China's sweatshops, I say visit the AC stys in the cities of modern Bharat...it's no different.You walk in at 0900 hours,do your mediocre crap throughout the day,at 1900 hrs when US comes alive the juggernaut gets going...beyond that of course it could be great if you could work d clock till its 0200 hours in India,dat way the ignorant fat bastards in US of A can actually have their 200K worth job outsourced and done without actually lifting a finger! And den somewhere in this jungle u get THE Tribe - MBA-s from top 10 BSculs in India - some employees,some interns. Fuslaoed from the campuses by snazzy presentations dat were outsourced to the likes of my former employers (lol...coz dis is a big secret out f d bags dat shines a very shiny light on the quality of Indian practice's management) these people actually put up Status Updates on Facebook saying "Got my dream JOB" etc etc. (BTW dis came from a Nearly-Hairless-Female whose understanding of what Career is naturally Stunted)

So what do these people do? As good-paid Associate Consultants (Yeah rite!) dey draft RFP-s meandering into 135 pages, of course CCP from previous efforts kept in repositories...dats d way u become SEI-CMM Level 5 certified u know :D...den once assigned to a project (yeah Bitch I'm now BILLABLE!!!) dey get to fly to First World Capitals for 3 weeks followed by Training Material Preparation for the rest of the project.So nice utilisation of their MBA..yeah rite!But then India is known to waste resources..right from Engg to MBA..but thankfully the MBA Sculs charge what they deserve unlike poor cousin IIT-s.

One more interesting thing!Say u study in ~(IIM ABC) then what do you do if your summers is in Bangalore/Cal/Ahd....Yes u r rite! U pose for fotos like dey make u IIM-ers :D Would you do dat in an IIPM Campus? Oh yeah rite..are you a mindless fool We belong to the upper echelon...and can only aim for higher ones rite :P

Then the summers let you in to the power that is FB!Dancing divas sent to project work in the interiors will keep you updated the 2 months you thought you would give them the slip,with the Queen turning in her grave at the grammar on the Status Updates :D Then there will be people who have been dumped quite often and pressing the LIKE button at every opportunity...egging the Divas on..shit man the WORLD needs an UNLIKE button u know.

Enough on The Person's experience.The lengthier this gets more like rant it seems.Lets hope it bloody well rains today!Some time else den...

Love Bytes

They say TIME flies when u r in a B-Scul...dey shud chk again coz The Person can tell u dat d second trim in d infamous Indian B-Scul scene is a quite chilled out affair...lots of fests and lots of movies and lots of intracampus wars and lots of globe-ing on any topic under the sunshine and of course lots of memorable walks down the Lover's Lanes (henceforth LL-s) of d respective campuses.Yes dat's rite.The seeds of passion and romance sowed ever so carefully by the respective baghbaans(go c d BR Chopra tearjerker if u hv no clue what we r talkin about or bttr a Hindi sabdkosh/abhidhan) in d first trim breaks in2 blossom nurtured by the hospitable climate prevailing in the Indian B-Scul scene bestowed both by Mother Nature & Curriculum Maker.And to tell you about two such mushy,cushy,oh-cho-cuteeeee The Person decided to post and help the incoming and d despairing millions of Indian youth about how to go ahead & succeed in matters of heart when they face the mighty Indian B-Scul Curricula Monster,specifically in d 1st trim and not be overwhelmed and give up on 'Apne Dil ki Awaaz' (as promulgated by Raj (a.k.a SRK) in His so many potboilers).

Guys this for u.Imagine the most cosmo city of your country.Done?Den imagine urself 2 b a ok-ish cool dude in the supposedly coolest college scene of the country though in my opinion girls in DU colleges can leave any non-Delhi guy feeling that he must have been to real Bharat (where u get plump-faced desi maids with what-must-be-lauded-by-the-Taliban-kind-of-Salwar-suits and -5 power specs to go with that) and been utterly cheated hence.Done?Now tell me how likely r u 2 make a comment like 'Am single by choice'? Tats rite! Now let's leave d necessary inferences dat needs to be drawn on d junta readin dis stuff and get ahead in our mission.

But given that The Person had started on this particular piece sometime back and yet hasn't had the time to finish it off so it is imperative that the task at hand be taken care of swiftly.So we will cut one person's love life out and take on the other case.

Ever felt the need to FIT IN? The present day Indian youth does feel that a lot.Specially when it comes to NOT being single.Specially if u r an Engineer and an about-to-be-MBA.How ODD is it to not have a girlfriend???I mean...like u must be real piece of work to not have a girlfriend at this stage of your life..isn't it?So thought a guy...Wronged in love once by a demon-of-a-Dad-in-Law he took an oath not to fall in love ever again...bad mouthed girls but in private fantasised about everything that he should ideally not be doing about...but lo and behold..he fell again!But since On-Campus was not to be hence Off-Campus.One thing led to another which led to a prompt trip to You-Know-Whose-House...hee hee hee hee...naughty minded all of you huh...But to the knowledge of The Person the Dad-in-Law dis time also turned out to be a Bitch...but den as it is has been acknowledged already you are a piece of work..so how could any for that matter Dad risk his daughter...But this was lost on our guy.All the bad mouthing in public became cozy cuddling in d phone as nite descended on d B-Scul with the PDA(Phone Display of Affection) reaching crazy heights...unbearable at times.The Person very much influenced by Case Studies(B Scul Student u c) would leave this post at this as no case should veer towards a solution.Scratch your hair(I don't care of where) and analyse this Perfect CS and blast away to glory...See u all then.

Fine Dining: A Treatise

This particular piece is in ode to the art of Fine Dining practised and cultivated by the people of money specially the New ones. That is not to say that Old money does not know how to celebrate this particular celebration of life as The Person might put it. But in this piece we focus more on the nouveau rich and their temples of culinary worship- the standalone Fine Dining restaurants, kinda exclusive, u know the types where u need to have a booking a few days in advance preferably. Considered ‘hatke’ than the standard ***** hotels’ restaurants these places reek of exclusivity (or so they seem to think) thanks mainly to the right hand side of the menu-cards and less due to the kind of clientele or the fare on offer. Now Calcutta being Calcutta still somehow boasts of a handful of these. They say ‘Gods must be Crazy’ I say ‘These restaurateurs are’. Come to think of it, how can Calcutta junta (no offence IT people...even IT DINK-s would think thrice before throwing caution to the wind) handle such eye-popping prices for something very basic! Now enough of a background as The Person would say by now, let’s get down to describing the menu item that inspired this composition.

Afraa. That’s what the Neotias call their little nest nestled at the perch of the Salt Lake City Centre (This clarification was necessitated by the fact that Calcutta now boasts of 3 City Centres actually...one of course the CBD, second the Salt Lake one, third its sibling at Rajarhat---yes that particular location which is supposedly the Promised Land for the Bengali IT herd of Infosys and Wipro who are being denied their cup of ‘cha’ (tea) and bowl of ‘muri’ (puffed rice) and a few solid rounds of ‘adda’ specially during the lunch breaks in the sanitised world of Bengaluru/ Hyderabad/ Noida).It means White. Decor suits the name. Now that we have the location let’s get along with the piece. The occasion-a warm home-coming welcome to a temporarily culinarily-challenged Indian MBA practising his trade in the hold-your-breath city of New Delhi- a place where finding non-veg good food is not only tough for the salary-challenged class (read Students) but also to go from a food-loving-and-gorging human to a non-veg-challenged foodie takes a Herculean effort...yeah I know Atlas Shrugged and We Managed...but still come on no self-respecting foodie can give up on his habits specially when he/she is not inclined to do so. Period. So where were we...ahh yes the occasion. Now for the company. Of course to-be-spouse! And the item that would help to transcend the dining experience from being a vanilla one to a Fine one was a Dessert...yes they have a Dessert menu-card all leather bound and you can have a full table laid out with a very romantic floating candle-never mind the fact that this was not supposed to be a 4 course meal (why it was not can be taken up on a later date) now the problem with such transcendental products is that if you are not a regular patron of such places you are sure to remember their name only as long as the menu rests on the table. So the order was placed. Couple of the dessert for the couple of course...as it was put “I can’t share mine” such statements obviously heightens your expectations specially in a Fine Dining set up. The next thing that u should be advised in Fine Dining is Expectation Management. They promise the World and give u let’s say Patna. So true to its nature out came the desserts on the expectation-laden table. A description is absolutely necessary at this point else we would not be doing justice to the Fine Food. A pristine white plate, with a spherical chocolate-covered-crust which held a pista-variant of icecream and a plateau-shaped hot choco-sauce filled inners and to add the final flourish there was a broad X marked by choco-powder. Disappointment at first sight...really The Person’s long-cherished notions of Fine Dining were reinforced—‘all crap, little substance’. As for the taste well it was good...nothing that would get Afraa a Michelin star soon. That marks the end of this piece.

AN EXPERIENCE CALLED APPRAISAL-AN EXERICSE IN FUTILITY

So it's dat time of d year again!!!Corporate India going Boom Boom Boom...such are the days even Infosys posts healthy profits ha ha ha...Consequent to dat comes an Exercise called Employee Appraisal (trust the Motherfu**** SonsovaBit** HR wizzos of your esteemed Fortune who-knows-what organisation to come up with something to leave you completely dazed)...Dis happened to The Person in the very first year of The Person's working life too...there was this organisation u know..people called it ONE of d BIG-FOUR (more like KRAZZY 4)...and to top up the experience the good news comes on The Person's birthday.:D

A Banwas 2.5 Months Old

As they say 'Time is a Great Healer',though The Person is not quite sure if this is the right idiom that shud have found its way at this exact position in the musings but anyways what's it dat matters! 2.5 months have somehow managed to find its way past the The Person since the project or whatever-bloody-else-you-might-want-to-call-it-you-can
-call-it started.New friends have been made aplenty...new exotic destinations discovered too...a place so exotic in The Person's opinion...but the problem lies in the fact that the keys to enjoy the exotic appeal of the place is still alluding The Person...here's hoping to it dat in good time even they will be available...so how has life treated The Person meanwhile? Well not good(as if you will at all get what is meant by that!!!) but not hugely bad either...given that The Person took a life-defining decision(The Person would surely live long enough to regret that the author is quite sure...but that's what The Person felt right and had to be done.Period) But currently the scenario looks real bad...the GuestHouse is without another soul(if you might care to count out the caretaker)...and no exams to relieve the The Person of this dreadful thing called project...Cars however still continue to flash by...BMW Coupe,7 series,Mercedes A-Class,M-Class,Porsche Carerra GT...Ferrari not yet sighted...Lamborghini done though...But is The Person content?..Watch this space for more..For now the answer is NO.

THE * SIGN OF THE PERSON & ALL U WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT

Taurus (The Bull) (fixed, earth, personal): Keyword: "I have". The Taurus person is resourceful, thorough, dependable, responsible, loyal, patient, placid, stable, sensual, affectionate, comfortable, solid, earthy, strong, money-oriented, practical, productive, cautious, musical, and artistic. They can also sometimes be stubborn, indulgent, insecure, acquisitive, possessive, rigid, stodgy and slow. Suitable occupations are where perseverance, practicality and responsibility are awarded,and security is available; such as builders, farmers, bankers, civil servants, accountants and artistic pursuits, especially singing and sculpture. In medical astrology Taurus governs the throat and neck. In astrology Taurus is ruled by the planet Venus. The sun sign dates for Taurus are April 21st - May 21st. The earth form of Taurus is fertile soil that has green growing plants.

Positive traits of Taurus people are:

* disciplined
* hard-working
* good sense of humor
* prudent
* great work-ethic
* artistic
* loving
* creative
* romantic
* sensual
* Very sexual
* attentive
* comforting
* strong
* steady
* shy
* organized
* cautious
* harmonious
* trustworthy
* calm
* tenacious
* stable
* patient
* resourceful
* easygoing
* careful
* dependable
* honest
* conservative
* determined
* loyal
* protective
* practical

Characteristics considered negative

Negative traits are:

* controlling
* stubborn
* hyper-sensitive
* gets stuck in ruts,
* little to say
* resentful
* moody
* horrible temper
* possessive
* overindulgent
* Jealous
* overly self-conscious
* rigid

CAREER:

Ideal Careers Banking, almost any form of bureaucracy, auctioneering, managers, singers, chef and acting.

Physical traits:

Astrologers believe that each of the zodiac signs has identifiable physical traits. Physically, individuals born under the sign of Taurus tend to have a full and square face, small ears, a rounded and dimpled chin, generally large foreheads, a short and turned-up nose, large and expressive eyes, glowing and opaque skin, full and well-shaped lips, small and even teeth, and thick, often curly hair. They are thought to usually be above average height

THE DEAL THAT U GET:

Taurus persons tend to be hedonistic, cool customers. They live primarily through the pleasures of their senses.

This is the more solid and pragmatic sign in the zodiac. It brings a lot of practicality and earthly sensibility. It is very utilitarian and seeks real, useful results for its efforts. This sign may be seen as lazy by some, but that is because it is strongly motivated by reward, and lack of such prize for its efforts tends to drain it of energies.

This sign is not psychologically equipped to deal with conflict and suffering, which reveal its more neurotic, sometimes brutal side. It does not take well to threats or disrespect, and can be quite resentful. Nevertheless, this is much more a sign of love and pleasure, where he usually much prefers to dwell.

Taurus can be greatly moved by physical beauty. In fact, some Taurus people, especially Taurus ladies find themselves delving in fields of esthetics or cosmetics.

Little acknowledged trait of Taurus is its rebellious nature, which is often considered as stubbornness. Its rebelliousness is actually quite refined in nature, certainly when compared to Aquarius' no holds barred. In accordance, it can be extremely wilful when it does not feel appreciated or respected.

They really hate discomfort, and can be quite preoccupied with avoiding it. This sign is usually a subscriber to "slowly but surely". It prefers to hold back than to risk himself.

Although they are quite aware of the wickedness inherent within their natural melancholy, basic constructive drives within this sign usually make them go with the greater good. Even in the case they do go down the wrong path, it will be more systematically conductive than just spite, and it should be rewarding aplenty. That said, naturally they are more inclined to fall into depression than act in a negative fashion.

They have a great longing to something special, exciting. This is the grounds for the great possessiveness within this sign, as anything that's considered special to them is held dear, clasped indeed.

Taurus is the more practical, constructive sign within the zodiac. The ruler of this sign is Venus, on her earthy side. His natural house is the second house.

Taurus shares similar qualities with Virgo, which eases them working together. Taurus appreciates Virgo's stable and rather predictable ways, and they often associate.

It can sometimes feel a bit intellectually inferior to Virgo's more dazzling abilities. Granted, Taurus does not really like to complicate himself with intellectual processes that do not lead to good, perceivable, real-world implications. This may sometimes mark him as "slow" by some, although Mercury's situation should be judged as well. Taurus' mentality tends to simplify things, really "bring them down to earth" (and to the commoners), and so sometimes eases thing and makes them much more workable.

Taurus tends to be somewhat more self-interested than Virgo, and can become quite lazy if there isn't any incentive offered.

Earth Signs--Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn-- Earth represents man's material resources, environment and possessions. The Earth signs are associated with sensation, stability and practicality, and people with a lot of earth in their make up are solid, dependable, thorough, responsible, cautious, overexertive, overprotective, and quiet. In combination with the other elements, earth feels that air will suffocate it, fire will burn it, but water will refresh and nourish it. It is the element of strength and healing.

Taurus personalities:

Interestingly, there are not so many top-celebrities of this sign, as it tends to be rather personal and does not usually feel a burning need to take on the world. It tends to be rather easily satisfied, and prefers not to extend itself too much.

FINALLY LETS SEE WHO GETS LUCKY:

Compatibility

The following items are traditionally associated with Taurus:

* Most compatible with: Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio, and Pisces, the Water and Earth signs.This person besides is a case in point!






















* Possible with: Taurus and Libra, due to the joint Venus rulership.
* Doubtful with: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Aries, Leo, and Gemini, as Fire and Air are incompatible with Earth

Banwas...Or Is It?

16th Jan.8:45 p.m.A JET Airways flight which anyways was late by an hour ensured that The Person would end up on a 10 months long Banwas at the Desh-Ki-Rajdhani.A couple of hours and a most boring flight later which included a veg meal of all things and a snoring beauty in the aisle seat and only 1 cutie-pie airhostess Delhi was finally awarded the reward it so dearly did not deserve...The Person set his foot on the frozen airport tarmac...A completely lost cab driver then took over d proceedings..finally at 1:15 a.m. The Person reached the GuestHouse...what a relief! chalo jaan to bachi!...The next day dawned as it was scheduled to...The Person had office to attend...but en route the nazaara that was on offer in terms of The Beauties...The Person had never imagined it cud b true even...U-Name-It-U-Get-It...that was what it like...

• Honda Civic and Accord(Imp to notice is City-s are not cars to own)
  
• Mercs (Yaar that's too tacky..everybody has one or so it seems)
• Beemers (Well Well they are not a rare sighting again..and 1 7Series was dere too)
• Toyota Lexus (Honestly The Person had never seen one b4)
  
• Audi (Sedan and SUV)
• Porsche Cayanne
  
• Nissan Tiguana
• And to add the final flourish...A BENTLEY...Majestic man its presence!

So The Person started to think was it or wasn't it...A Banwas that is..More to follow.Watch this space.

An Experiment Gone Horribly Right

One fine saturday morning The Person decided to play around with The Person's status message...went to the usual suspects(sites The Person means)...but as luck would have it nothing dere was to The Person's taste...so The Person decided to go solo..decided to improvise..and what improvisation it proved to be...one hell of it...The offending line read something like this "I have finally done it."(Amen!!!) And this innocuous looking line triggered off an avalanche of enquiries...mostly guys and seniors at it :D...the author feels not to go into details of such intimate conversations coz this is a bit public for such topics to be discussed and of course accessible to the members of the fairer sex too...but to just cut the long story short the questions were along the lines "Gf?" , "The 3 letter thing?"(TAUBA TAUBA,such dirty minds) :D and of course the members of the fairer sex also joined in the carnival...actually very curious but unable to put all of it in display..so they all said "finally done what?" or variants of that...harmless u see but potent :P.But what surprised The Person was all the guys knew of The Person's adventures (or lack of that) shall we say but yet asked...worried that this no-work-to-do The Person must have utilised The Person's time pretty well and gone on to the next level to say per se...given that they had the same opportunities too and The Person and they were birds of the same feather till recently :D...let the author put up some evidence here...
shankh: finally done wat??

Anirban: tui ki korechis finally??!!!

G****: ai tui ki korechish re???

pradipta: hello
finally done it
me: hellos
pradipta: wht does dat mean???

Aritra: ki?
me: kichhu na
:P
Aritra: :P

Himanshu: so u have a gf i guess
:P
me: ohh
how wrong cud u b
knowing me
Himanshu: hahahhahaahhahahahahahhaha
me: how cud u say that
:P
Himanshu: welcome to the club
:P
me: i was a life member
:P
Himanshu: hahahahhahahahaha

p*****i: what hv u done finally..!!??!!

A****a: finally done what?

N***r: u have finally done what?

indrita: wat hav u finally done?

these were some of the many enquiries The Person handled...one among them even reminded The Person that overuse of the line might not be such a good idea...The Person thought that was a good idea too :D But what made such an innocuous line turn into something such glamorous is something The Person failed to comprehend...must be that something called INNOCENCE must have been lost forever :D

IndianInstitutesofTechnology

The Indian Institutes of Technology is another name for IIT, which is the acronym for Institute of Infinite Tension, Institute of Indian Technology, etc. These institutes of so-called national importance were set up by the Indian Parliament at seven campuses across India, decided purely on merits of political alliances of the ruling party. It was the mastermind of a certain Jawaharlal Nehru to reduce the average intelligence of Indians that led to the establishments of these institutes. Just like Zion in Matrix, where 3% of the people who do not accept the Matrix are gathered together to prevent dissent as a whole, IITs were formed by the Government of India to gather at one place the 2% of the intelligentsia of the country and dumb them down.

Admission

The geeks and nerds of India start preparing for IIT-JEE just after 10th standard of schooling. A very effective test of whether a guy is fit for getting into the IITs is asking a very simple question: "Do you have a girlfriend"? A guy who says anything else other than "What's a girl?" would not get through the test. Girls are considered unfit to get into IITs, though some girls manage to get the application forms as they look like guys. To make sure no girl gets through the system by bribing to get the application forms, the applicants are required to specify their gender and affix a photograph in the application form. Those faces that resemble anything girly are not selected.

The entrance exam, IIT-JEE, is an extremely selective undergrad admission process (accepting less than 2% of their applicants). As they say, if the input is right, the output is automatically right. The six-hour Joint Entrance Exam held, as the name suggests, jointly by IITs, consists only of questions on Physics, Chemistry and Maths and not on other exotic details like Booze, Drugs, Crime, Pr0n etc. which severely affect the quality of the incoming students. Since the Indians are well known for cramming up loads of information, questions in JEE are never repeated.

Education

The IIT curricula is carefully decided so that there is no scope of learning anything. The students, then, take up alternate learning routes, most common being Pr0n. The IIT alumni on knowing the tremendous potential of internet, provided all hostel rooms with free and unlimited internet connection. The IIT administration tried to propound their agenda by putting lecture videos on the LAN, but this is yet to be confirmed as this has not been tried by any student. The IITians are also forced to eat mess food, that prepares them for the worst they can ever face in their life.

The guys also learn how to make 50 palladins in 25 minutes and get three frags per shot. Some of the creative minds also make a quick buck by selling MMS clips online. Since there are assignments to be submitted every now and then, the guys also learn how to use Google adeptly. Photocopying centres are provided for every 100 metres of road so that time wasted in photocopying assignments is minimized. Lecture classes are held from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. IST (Indian Stretchable Time). It has been established by years of testing that the time can be stretched to as much as 30 minutes beyond provided it is backed by a cardinal excuse. The summary and results of many such experiments has been documented well in a book by an IITian titled "Five Point Someone: What not to do at an IIT". The book also deals with complex issue of dealing with a girl in IIT.

Life and culture (or lack thereof)

When entering the IIT, a guy has two options. The first is to take up the common learning route described above. Since IIT-JEE makes sure a lot of mavericks are selected, many of them also end up being happy among themselves. The girls in IITs, usually refered to as Non-Males and measured as parts of girl per million parts of guy, have to struggle keeping their identity as girl secret throughout their stay in IITs. Sometimes they are forced to tell the truth, like when a gay IITian proposes mistaking them for a guy.

Alumni

The alumni of these institutes have been very sucessful across the world (more in USA than in India). Most of them either get frustrated and leave technical education to study management at IIMs, or start a company of their own totally unrelated to their major discipline. There are also a select few who develop a fetish for studies and end up in institutes like Massachusetts Institute Of Technology. An interesting aspect is that, alumni of these institutes form the second-largest graduate student group at MIT, the largest being MIT undergrads and one day hope to colonise the whole of MIT campus.

Quotes on IITians

“These guys are total studs. Just like me.”

~ Oscar Wilde on IITians

“I love those guys.”

~ Oscar Wilde on IITians

“Shhh....Meet me at the Mining dept. later tonight”

~ IITian on Oscar Wilde

“IIT is t3h l33t.”

~ God on IIT

“We are 'GAWDS'.”

~ IITians on themselves

“So am I.”

~ Douglas Adams on the previous quote

“Fuck”

~ A girl on seeing the IIT-JEE question paper

“DISCO? Fuck!”

~ An IITian on on DISCO

“You think getting into IIT is difficult? Try getting out, bitch!”

~ disguntled IITian on IIT

The Complete Idiot's Guide To Talking To Women

Since time immemorial— which is to say it's been going on for such a long time that nobody can remember a time before it — women have been asking men trick questions, and men have been stupidly falling for it time and time after bloody again.Some examples...

Does this make me look fat?

The textbook classic. If you've never heard this one then you've never dated a girl-next-door type a supermodel anyone.

What you are thinking...

What you can actually say...

Does this suit make me look bald? It's a pair of pants, not a reality-reversal field. Nonsense, the material is what holds the fat in. No, the visible light spectrum makes you look fat. Hmmm... let me jog around you a few times to take a look. See you in 20. No, but just in case we should ask a salesperson about the tensile strength of that fabric. No, it's that other dress that makes you look fat. Hey! That dress actually does make you look thin! Buy that! Do I look dumb in this shirt? No, no, no, turn around. There. Now you look fat. Well, no. Not all of you. Only certain parts of you. I can't see. Come out from behind that fat woman and I'll tell you. Not fat, but the massive amounts of fur make you look like a very angry bear. Phat? Word. Let me just step back and fit it all in.

No, of course not. You look beautiful. It looks beautiful. I love you just the way you are. (edited after field testing) What I think isn't as important as loving yourself for who you are. (repealed) Let's have salad for lunch. (repealed)

The camera adds ten pounds, doesn't it?

I know I'm overweight but in serious denial. Deny with me.

What you are thinking...

What you can actually say...

That's an old wives' tale, started by old, fat wives. Don't test the warranty return policy — Kodak would disagree with you. It's not a hardware problem, it's a software problem. Pictures don't lie (except on VFP) Don't shoot the messenger. That daily bucket of Cheetos might have had something to do with it. Let's see... add 10 pounds for the Ice_cream_truck" , 10 pounds for the "extra crispy recipe" from KFC, 10 pounds for your daily double latte with triple sugar and triple cream, 10 pounds for your chocolate addiction, ...eh... what are we up to now? I think I'm still 30 pounds short somewhere. The 10 pounds was there before I took the picture, and unfortunately, is still here now. And then some. You need to lose a lot more than 10 pounds to look thin. How many cameras were used to take this picture?

Not to you, baby. Oh (name), you're always your own worst critic. You look beautiful. The more the merrier. (repealed) The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'. (Oh, bad! Very bad. Don't go there.) I love you just the way you are. (saying less is usually more)

Do you love me?

Here's a noose. Try it on for size.

What you are thinking...

What you can actually say...

Like steak dinners and football? More than football? Usually. Only when things are going into your mouth, not coming out. Define love. I've slept in my car before. It's reasonably comfortable if I fold my pants into a makeshift pillow. Damn. Busted. I wonder what Angela is doing tonight?

You're perfect for me. (sweet, but actually non-committal) You're everything I ever wanted. (at least until something better comes along) I can't imagine not having you in my life. (i.e. "I feel trapped!" but it'll sound good to her) Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... ...yes? (pauses are deadly) You are a special person in my life.(repealed) You are very important to me. (repealed) I love you. Just like I say every bloody time you ask me that stupid question. (The truth is NOT your friend.)

Do you love me for my brains or my body?

The no-win situation... pick one and she feels stupid, pick the other and she feels ugly.

What you are thinking...	What you can actually say...
Mmmmm. Shit now I'm totally done in. Is there any possible answer I can give that won't result in me getting a knee in the groin. I like your mind, I just wish it was programmable like my remote control. Body wins by default, can't choose what isn't there, right?	You're the perfect combination of both. You have everything, which is why I fell in love with you. (practice controlling your gag reflex before using this one) Those are totally independent variables.(repealed) Yes. I love you. (Make sure to emphasise the "you".)

If you could sleep with one of my friends, which one would it be?

You can't handle the truth!

What you are thinking...	What you can actually say...
I wasn't supposed to sleep with your friends? I was only supposed to sleep with one? Not like you haven't slept with my best friend before. That's a tough one. Revathy has the sweetest little a**, but Tamanna has an amazing r*** and a great attitude. Dunno. Which of 'em would sleep with me?	You're the only woman I need. (period. stop talking.) I love you. Anyway, all your friends are ugly. (Don't insult her friends.)

How many other women have you slept with?

This is a good time to practice your fake heart attack routine. Or acquire sudden-onset laryngitis.

What you are thinking...

What you can actually say...

To be honest, unlike when I'm with you, I don't get much sleep in those situations. Just to clarify, is this including your friends from the previous question? Do you have a calculator? A pen and paper would work fine too, I guess, though my math skills aren't what they used to be back when I'd only slept with as many women as I could count on both hands and both feet. Well, as many of them that I could.

I forgot them all when I met you. I love you. (Run away as quickly as you can.) Do I look like the kind of person who gets laid often? (Not something you want to advertise)

Are you listening to me?

Listening is integral to success in any relationship. Failing that, work toward creating a decent impersonation — nodding, smiling, and verbal acknowledgements like "Uh huh" and "Yeah" are a good start.

What you are thinking...

What you can actually say...

What? Crap. She's asked me something again. What was the last thing I remember her talking about? Her mother's corns? Gah! No I'm not. I'm busy. I'm always busy. And you're always talking. No. I'm listening, I just don't give a damn TOUCHDOWN!!!!

Yes. Yes, of course I am. What was that last bit again? We did say, less is more Yes, and you're right. You're completely right. Yes, and I completely agree. Uh...Fuchsia Pink? Fuchsia pink is THE answer to all the female's needs, but do not pronounce it in the form of a question. Mumbles. Then she'll ask in the form of "what was that?" then you go back at her with "Now who's not listening, huh? Now who's not listenin'?" on slightly raised voice to make a point to her that you WERE "listening". Note: This is a good way to start divorce proceedings. I love you.

Will you love me when I'm old, fat and ugly?

Wake up! This is a trick question, even the hottest broad chick in the world only sees the negative aspects of her looks. Any answer on this one is instantly interpreted as about the here and now. Always remember, removing your tongue with kitchen scissors remains the most viable response to ANY questioning.

What you are thinking...

What you can actually say...

You already are. No I already do. When I'm old I hope I can be one of those old men that somehow pull young attractive women - I wish I could pull young attractive women now. Well... you're already fat and ugly... Why the hell am I with you?

Of course I will. She'll think of you as a liar. Oh honey, that's such a long way off. Let's not talk about such depressing things.She'll think of you as a romantic liar, which is only a little better. I love you. That'll never happen to you, sweetie. All laws of physics were suspended for someone as perfect as you. (repealed after field tests revealed nobody can get past the first sentence without breaking down and laughing) Scientific note: For this question, field tests have proven that you can't actually escape it. This is a question beyond the scope of science or philosophy. Being of a scientific nature, the query requires a truthful scientific answer, but the questioner expects praise (which would be a lie in this case) in return. Thus, neither truth or falsehood will get satisfactory results. This is the ultimate question that no man can escape.

What should I wear tonight?

Careful, you may get absolutely lost and not say anything for several minutes... unless you happen to be one of those gay guys who knows every single article of clothing in a woman's closet. But then why are you dating a woman? Get out you poser.

What you are thinking...	What you can actually say...
Something naughty A towel? Actually, how about nothing? Me I DON'T BLOODY CARE!	Anything you want, you look good in anything/everything and nothing. I love you.

U,Me N Apologies

Lets start dis one in d traditional hindi masala movie-style.So here goes d disclaimer...THIS STORY HAS NO RESEMBLANCE,WHATSOEVER,TO ANY PERSON LIVING OR DEAD.ANY SUCH RESEMBLANCE WOULD BE PURELY COINCIDENTAL AND ANY INCONVENIENCE IS SINCERELY REGRETTED.
So now for the narrative...Once upon a time there was dis the person and of course to carry dis one forward there was this another person.the person was a simpleton to say the least,but as luck(good/bad that hasnt been decided as of yet while writing dis narrative) wud have it the person ended up in a sitn the person never ever dreamt of.And as one wud have guessed by now it involved another person.So the person thought dat mite b apologies wud come to the person's assistance..here mite we refer to an eponymous hollywood production having a name curiously very similar to this blog's heading :D....but for those who r familiar with the storyline of the movie in question surely wud remember what exactly was the role of the third character in the movie...now comin back to the narrative,the person as luck wud again have it went on being involved in crazy scenarios..of course every single one of them involved another person.And of course d apologies,which the person was confident cud save the person's day,never saw the lite of d day.the person thought dat some day the person's time wud definitely arrive and the person wud come out with all apologies at one go.and this way time whiled on.the person never realised it but collateral damage was already done.another person meanwhile never betrayed any emotion.Life dealt the person a really raw hand,so the person thought.But the person cud never decide what reaction another person wud show so the person decided to leave apologies for the future at an appropriate time.the person regretted the person's decison but then again dere was this far u cud go and no more the person thought.Now for some queries which this author thought cud b relevant to the context,was the person wrong in holding back d apologies specially in absence of any visible display of emotions,which as many of us wud b ready to acknowledge dat it can b a double-edged-sword,to hindify it delhi ka laddoo?then again how wud the person express the apologies given the scenario dat the person was not exactly the initiator of the person's situation but then again the person never regretted the same?

MOVIES I WUD HATE NOT TO SEE AGAIN.

:life is beautiful(THE WORLD WUD HAVE BEEN A MUCH POORER PLACE BUT FOR THIS MOVIE),
:the dead poets' society(MY BIOGRAPHY),
:roman holiday(THIS TAKES THE CAKE),
:the prestige(USUALLY THE NEW MOVIES GET LISTED AT THE END.DO I NEED SAY MORE?),
:the illusionist(SAME AS ABOVE APPLIES.PERIOD.),
:rainman,
:ordinary people,
:kramer vs kramer,
:stepmom,
:a beautiful mind(INTENSE),
:titanic,
:lion king,
:my best friend's wedding,
:runaway bride,
:pretty woman,
:notting hill(SWEET),
:cars,
:finding nemo,
:catch me if you can(NICE),
:departed,
:the blood diamond,
:ocean's eleven(CHIC GETS A NEW MEANING),
:ocean's twelve(CHIC GETS A NEWER MEANING),
:ocean's thirteen(CHIC GETS A STILL NEWER MEANING),
:top gun(LOOK OUT FOR THE AVIATOR SHADES),
:lord of war(NICOLAS AT HIS BEST IMHO),
:the truman show(CAPTIVATING.PERIOD.),
:face-off(VERY COOL),
:the phone-booth(KABHI DEKHA HAI AISA MOVIE???),
:basic instinct(WORDS FAIL ME),
:the sliver(THANKS YET AGAIN SHARON),
:bourne identity,
:bourne supremacy,
:bourne ultimatum(IF I WERE ludlum MAY B I WUD EVEN NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I EVER HAD REMOTELY ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE BOOK OR THE MOVIE...APESHIT),
:casino royale(BUT HOW TO SPREAD CARDS LIKE THAT?),
:you me and dupree,
:50 first dates(WHAT CONCEPT..WHEW!!!),
:night in a museum,
:hitch(IS THAT A NOUN OR A VERB...THANKS ALEX FOR THE BASIC PRINCIPLES!!!),
:usual suspects(CHOCOLATE... ANYONE?..PHULEASSSEEE),
:love actually(SHALL WE JUST SAY DAT INDIANS ARE REAL LOUSY AT COPYING TOO WHEN IT COMES TO MOVIE IDEAS???),
:just like heaven,
:a lot like love,
:the thomas crown affair(WHAT DATES MONEY CAN GET AND HOW!!!),
:stranger than fiction(NEVER BEFORE...NEVER AGAIN!),
:the last kiss(SO MY TYPE),
:dil chahta hai(BOLLY CHIC GOES HOLLY),
:black

StrangerThanFiction

Yes dere was this wonderful movie dat went by this very name..and i wud not hate to admit that this title is pure plagiarism...but for sure a movie review dis is not what it's about...its more i wud say about someone's life.It surely can b named thus...StrangerThanFiction..what the person never envisaged dat the person cud possibly become and what the person finally ended up bein'.And the change the person underwent was mind bogglin'.Right 4m bein' a bundle of nerves to d come-what-might-i-wud-like-to-at-least-like-to-face-it type.But at d same time somethin' else happened 2.D drive in the person..the person lost it along d way...the person now only wanted to flow wid d tide...but the person had it to even turn aginst d tide if dat was needed..but the person found little enthusiasm..why all of a sudden the person's world changed the person nvr knew..but the person desperately wanted 2 have the person's previous attitude to life back...in d process the person started blving in things what were once fantasies..the person thought dat the person mite hv found the person's inspiration at last...but alas!!!to no avail it was.dejection set in...but den again the person dint have enough conviction to tread a path rarely traversed..the person continued to wait for something StrangerThanFiction to take place...shud something StrangerThanFiction is to occur this writer solemnly promises to b back wid d account.